Sunday, March 27, 2011

Reality check

1985 is more than just a line from a song.
It was also the year one of the most incredible photos of the last century was taken.
"The Afghan girl" from National Geographic - those of you that don't know it may recognise it from the link below.
Because what the guys did was they went back a couple of years ago to see if they could find her and of course they did. You gotta check this out.

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Merry Whatever!

You can take away my morale, you can take away my job satisfaction, you might even be able to take away myself respect.... But you'll never take away my holidays!!!!

Ahhh.... Moments of peace and occasional relaxation. May the demons of the office be excorcised for 3 weeks more regularly. Seriously I think the only thing that keeps me sane is the Australia Day long weekend and then the Labour day long weekend that gets me to Easter & that gets me to the Queens Birthday and then to finally Christmas again. Another vicious circle similar to the ones created every time B1 and B2 open their mouths.

Please do me a favour and dont feel sorry for them. If you do then it will be the fault of mine for not presenting their true talents eloquently enough rather than from being too hard on them.

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Is 'Stupid' contagious?

Whats more dangerous than a mean bitch in charge of your life?
A mean bitch that's in charge of your life that doesn't know she's stupid...

B2 isn't totally thick. She knows Real Estate, and finance, and a few other things,
but there are certain subjects that she is just plain dimwitted over.

Like taking a ream of paper from one cupboard so that she could use it, putting it down on her desk and then going to the storeroom and getting another to replace it in the cupboard??
The cupboard was chockers minus 1 friggen ream!
Its not just an isolated thing but its also not consistent like shes got some type of mania! Theres no sharpening of pencils or lining up notepads in order of thickness or any such pattern.
She just goes 'exit stage left' at random shit.
She has an iPhone and it sits on one of those cute little robot stands next to her mouse when she's working.
Sometimes when she is typing and her iPhone rings she will pick up her mouse...
This happens a couple of times a week!!!

Monday, November 15, 2010

Screw You!

Everyone likes Choices.
Telemarketers give us 'choices', we can:
  • play along if we are bored
  • allow them to get under our skin and shout at them
  • a referrees whistle by the phone is a very good deterrent but I'm not sure if you can get into trouble or not.
  • you pretend you're a detective on a crime scene and want to know why they rang the 'deceased'?
My bitch of a boss gave me a choice last week. I can move out of my office that I currently share with P3, quite harmoniously I might add, and move into the larger office with B1 & B2, or, I can piss off to look for employment elsewhere.
"Why is the move required?" I ask.
"Because we need to use the space in the Larger Office more efficiently. B2 requires some help with a deal she is working on. And sometimes a little bit of change is a good thing." I am told.
To paraphrase: "You are nothing more than a bad smell and I sense you are little too comfortable where you are sitting at the moment, so Screw You! I am going to make you B2s whore!"
I am now going to mention that the boss doesn't call her B2. That is me calling her B2 instead of what the boss calls her. A fact that most will find bleedingly obvious, but I thought I'd mention it just in case.
As you can imagine my weekend was rather sombre. I had my brave face on for the kids but after they went to bed I was in a full blown mood.
My take on Depression is you can be sitting there watching some damn fine comedy on TV and not even be able to crack a smile. I could still friggen recognise it though. The comedy I mean.
But theres just a numbness like your waiting for something.
Maybe its just waiting for someone else to do something for you. I know I feel like that from time to time.
I'm waiting for someone to ring me up and tell me the thing at work is a mistake and I dont have to spend the next 'X' number of years not wanting to get out of bed, or out of the shower, or out of the house!

The really dissappointing thing. I have been there already and fought like hell to get my self out of it. But that was in the job I'm doing now.
A job and location that I at least enjoy part of the time..........

Monday, November 8, 2010

Episode One - B1, B2, P1, P2, & P3

How ignorant we are. Safe without the knowledge that might leave our dreary little minds blasted all over the walls like the special effects from Last Weeks 'NCIS'.
Scouts from Darth Bald's deadly Imperial Starfleet have fled the scene in secret. 
Speeding back to make their reports that this little planet, though habitable, is extremely hostile! 
Fortunately - for the human race - they happened to capture a particularly fierce session of our office politics on one of their spy recordings.
B1 & B2 were in fine form {the 'B's & 'P's are explained over there to the right}. 
You see B1 is a total control freak, unlike B2 who is merely self-centred and up herself! 
If there is a question that needs to be answered; B1 will either answer it, whether it was directed at her or not, or if she doesn't know the answer, she will paraphrase the question. I don't hate anyone. Hate is too strong a word, but dislike doesn't do B1 sufficient credit. 
So no matter who is talking to whom {or whatever the correct pronoun is; I don't care}, B1 will take over!
B2 will simply sit on the sideline until the opportunity presents itself to talk about her fave subject: Herself!
So at this point it becomes quite a tug of war between them as to who commands the ebb and flow of the discussion. Me? I don't care as long as it doesn't get me into trouble. Sometimes it's even entertaining. 
When the guys are involved it also gets very confusing. 
P1 doesn't like P3.   P2 doesn't like P1 but I'm not sure about after office hours. 
And P3 only gets along with P1 and P2 for the good of Office morale.
I have trouble figuring it out and I work there!
You've heard of the flea circus. Well in my office we have the P circus
Except I am the only one that calls it that. Bummer hey? But you can now too, hey? All one of you. 
OK. OK. I will tell the truth. I have 2 computers so the other one is also me. 

jk, there are more of you now that aren't me.